Wednesday, mercredi, Mittwoch.....

As usual Wednesday is "weigh in" day for the household! Haven't weighed Simon yet, but I checked him out the other day just to see if he's been gaining and yes he has! So we'll see what the big result is later! I on the other hand neither gained nor lost. So...while it's more enjoyable to lose....I'm ok with not gaining! It is hard to lose weight in the summer! Too much temptation!

After my last post, I've taken the first step - not to discuss certain things with certain people! It's helpful in this journey to discover who can listen and help - and who can't. It's just disappointing when the people you think can help you the most, don't. Or maybe they can't - but if that's the case then they should just say that instead.

Being a mom of a preemie is not an easy thing. Everyone is constantly comparing your "little" one to their (or other) "bigger" children - who are usually quite a bit younger and quite a bit bigger! It's hard not to take it personal sometimes - like you're not doing something right! Which I've thought a lot about lately cuz we've been so focused on trying to get him to eat and gain weight! Pediasure! It's 1000 calories in one can....and comes in fancy flavours. So now every day doesn't have to be an "on" day as far as eating is concerned! I've been almost panicking when he doesn't eat his whole meal (which is happening less and less these days - thank goodness!) thinking that he's going to lose weight. But now that he's getting all these calories in the day I can relax a little bit. Maybe someday soon he'll be bigger than younger kids! I'd just be happy if he made it to the 20lb mark by the end of the summer! That way he can at least fit his lifejacket according to the weight standards!

Getting over it

I was told today to get on with my life. While I realize that it's something I definitely need to do, is today the day? Tomorrow? How about the next day? I'm thinking it's not something you just decide to do one day - or is it? So many uncertainties around it. How does one go about getting on with their life? I thought that's what I was doing? I figured there would just be some days that it would be a little harder but that was to be expected. Was I wrong? Am I just wallowing? I've definitely had more time to think about it than the average person - and I don't think I've come up with any answers. Just more questions. Back to the "getting on with it" thing.... I think I've got to look into it more. Maybe this is the right time for a little outside help. Maybe that's where I'll find some of the answers I'm looking for.

It's trivial....

So on Tuesday I weighed myself and I lost 2lbs. Great! I have no idea how?!!! On Monday I ate McDonald's for lunch, and at a staff party had a few beer and tons of spitz.....how did I manage to lose 2lbs?! Maybe it would have been 5 if I wouldn't have done all that on Monday!! In my experience I've lost weight eating healthier and exercising. So I'm a little baffled when I lose weight by not doing those things! But if I tried it again this week - I would gain soo much back! It's as much a mental game as it is a physical one! Losing weight can be exhausting some days! Maybe I should go work out on the Wii for a while!!