The impact of a blog

Reading a post from my friend Deena's blog about a friend of hers really hit me today. She had a pre-term baby, and due to other complications he died 5 days later. She describes everything so well, not only the events of her life but the emotion and the thoughts behind it all. It took me back to when Simon was in NICU and how much I could identify with some of her thoughts and emotions. From the stress and emotional rollercoaster that is the NICU to the nurses ("Newman") made me laugh and sigh. It reminded me of how close we came to losing Simon and possibly myself - and all the baggage that went with that. It reminded me of the day I found out I miscarried my baby, and the void that still holds for me. It reminded me of the grief I still feel every day over the loss of my brother and how raw that event still is for me - even though it's almost 3 years. It's so late, but I want to go into Simon's room and snuggle him so close. Even though he swore at me today (apparently "cheese is f@#k"! hahaha!) it made me laugh - he makes me laugh every day. Will I ever have another child - I don't know. Even if I don't, I have the cutest little miracle ever. He was born on that day for a reason - he was meant to survive. I sat down for a few minutes to check on the happenings of a friend and found some wisdom, strength and inspiration from a woman and her family who've gone through the most devestating loss of their lives. Not what I expected for a Wednesday night. Thanks for your post Deena - once again your big heart and wonderful words for a friend amaze and inspire!

2000 hours

I found this blog from a teacher in the states. He is fed up of the public perception that teachers do nothing and get their summers off. So he started to log his hours he spent on his own time hoping to get to 2000 hours in a year. Already this summer he has 60! It struck a cord with me as we are fighting to get a new contract here. I say fighting because that's what it feels like. Not a negotiation but a fight. We are attacked from all sides - government, public, parents, students....it's been crazy. This blog is so relevant to our argument for more money and resources as teachers. We do so much that the public doesn't see - including on our "summers off"! While I may not be working at school (and I actually can't even if I wanted to - I don't have a classroom right now!) be assured I've been doing plenty here. I've participated in a few webinars on technology, been reading the Willow Award nominees for my book club next year, and will take two short courses in August. Summers off indeed! Am I upset that I don't get paid to do all that....not really. I learned last year that I didn't have time in the day to do all this stuff between school, after school prep, and parenting. So now that I have some extra time I feel I need to devote some of it to this to be well prepared next year. Less stress for me in the long run. What upsets me about the pay thing is that we wrote letters telling the government about all this extra stuff we do - they know - and we still have yet to be recognized for it all. No, instead we get the same damn contract offer after mediation and 3 days of strike, not to mention all the attack adds, and then I watch the news and in the budget report they put "Teachers' contract $50 million"! Oh...and that was more than highways and disaster relief! Those greedy teachers! Indeed! So 2000 hours.....I'm on hour 21.5 and climbing. Not that it will do anything to get a better contract - but if I can get the word out - maybe some people will take notice.

Gotta do something

So, I've started a new workout. I have a feeling it's going to "bag the crap" out of me. 3 days into it and already some of my muscles are wondering what the hell is going on! It's good. I need to keep it up, I have no choice. I feel if we are going to have more kids - which I'm certainly trying hard to make happen someday - I need to do this. Let me stress the "need" part of it. Simon coming into the world the way he did was amazing. Yes, all births in their own right are amazing - but truly the fact that we both survived that is what I mean by amazing. At this weight, I'm automatically at risk of a repeat performance, and I think the chances of me surviving it again are something I don't even want to think about. While I've always maintained that stress played a HUGE factor in why my blood pressure was the way it was, I can't argue with the fact that my size is a risk when it comes to pregnancy. I've "Gotta do something" about it - hence the title of this post. Other than pre-eclampsia during pregnancy I've never really had a lot of health issues due to my weight. I've been lucky that way. So I'm thinking why push it?! I'm not healthy if I'm at risk for all kinds of things - whether I have them or not. I have to say, my husband is also a big reason as to why I've "Gotta do something". While I can say I don't have health issues due to my weight - he can't. His feet, hips, back and legs are always sore. He's on his feet all day, and has a job that can at times be very physical, but if he wasn't the weight he is, then I think his body could handle it better. Watching him come home in pain, wake up in pain, and go through the day in pain makes me think that I can't let myself continue to the point where we both have shares in Advil, Robaxicet and A535! We talk about it all the time, but maybe if he sees me making progress he'll do it too. I can't do it alone - this time I think we both have to if it's going to work. He's walking to work - it's awesome - but I think I can convince him to do a bit more. Think of how sexy we'd be......hehehe....having that second kid might be a little easier! ;-)